


An Exercise in Patience

by mittamoo



Series: Sapphic Bartle au [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Animal Abuse, F/F, Happy Ending, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 15:43:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11421096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mittamoo/pseuds/mittamoo
Summary: In prison she has a lot of time to think. It’s in prison that Hope realises. Realises that she is completely, totally, overwhelmingly in love with Abigail Dingle. Then her plans run to a halt when she finds that Abi has gone and got herself a new girlfriend





	An Exercise in Patience

**Author's Note:**

> written for a prompt from bexwhite: Jealousy and Angst

In prison she has a lot of time to think. It’s in prison that Hope realises. Realises that she is completely, totally, overwhelmingly in love with Abigail Dingle. When she thought that she was going to die she’d gone through a list in her head of the things that she desperately wanted to see again; her family, of course, and Abi. The thoughts of them both cycle through her head again and again during that time, but it’s only when her family have somehow managed to call off the other inmates that she really started thinking about them. Thinking about Abi.

At first it’s just remembering the beginning of their friendship, it’s remembering teenaged Abi with her buzzed off hair and cap, with the scowl seeming to have permanent residence on her face. Remembering how she was so quick to anger, but at the same time always up for a bit of a laugh. Then her mind turns to a pair of large gold-hoop earrings, they were ridiculous and impractical but they’d made her grin like nothing Hope had ever seen. The two years in France had been good for her, they seemed to have softened her hard edges slightly, she seems far more comfortable in herself and for Hope it was a wonder to see.

Then she tries to imagine her life without Abi in it, the mere thought of losing her makes her feel ill. She doesn’t know exactly where she’d be without Abi, for one thing she’d have been in prison much sooner. It scares her how willing Abi was to throw away her life for her sake because Hope has no idea what she’s ever done to deserve that kind of loyalty. The truth of exactly how far Abi is willing to go for her scares her a little less when Hope realises that she’d do anything for Abi as well. In prison she also decides that she’s going to tell Abi exactly how she feels, for better or for worse as soon as she gets out.

When Hope does get out, that’s exactly what she plans to do. She even almost succeeds in doing it. But when she’s just about to pull Abi aside to talk, another woman walks over and ruins everything. She’s small and slim, all dark hair and bright lipstick. It would be unfair to say that Hope hates her, but she certainly hates the way she throws an arm around Abi’s shoulders, it feels far too familiar an action for someone Hope has never met before. After all her and Abi have always been a bit of a package deal, so seeing that kind of casual touch from someone Hope doesn’t know is a little jarring.

“So, are you going to introduce me” She hopes her smile doesn’t look as forced as it feels.

“Sally” the woman says, holding up a hand in some kind of greeting, Sally is a stupid name and Hope definitely isn’t being immature about this whole situation.

Over the next few weeks Hope’s dislike of Sally only grew, it was clear that her and Abi have been seeing each other by the way that Abi looks at her. Hope can’t help but wish that Abi would look at her like that. She tells herself that she doesn’t like Sally because she knows how attached Abi gets to people, because she can see how attached Abi already is. Abi is very much a settle down with kids and a dog kind of person but from what she’s seen from Sally, she isn’t. In the end though, she resents Sally the most because of the question playing through her head over and over again; _why her and not me?_

That’s the question though, what does she have that Hope hasn’t got? She can’t help compare herself to Sally. Sally with her pin straight hair and clean, painted nails versus her barely tamed curls and her ragged nails caked in grime from years of farm work. She can’t help but think about how Sally is small and delicate and _pretty_. And Hope, well Hope just isn’t. Of course Abi isn’t interested in her, with her too loud voice and the mess that seems to follow her wherever she goes. In the end she has to stop thinking about it because really going over and over in her head all the reasons that Abi couldn’t possibly love her back is as about as useful as trying to use a stab wound as a pocket.

So Hope sucks it up, she plays nice with Abi’s new girlfriend and pretends that she isn’t getting more and more desperate to spend some time alone with her best friend. Then one day, Sally is just gone without any real explanation at all. The only way that she can outwardly tell that Abi is affected by her apparent break-up is her being slightly surlier than usual and the fact that she hasn’t bothered to straighten her hair in a few days. Hope is happy that her competition for Abi’s time and attention is gone and she’s sure Abi’s hair is grateful for the reprieve it’s been given but then she also feels guilty because this is hurting Abi and she shouldn’t be happy about it at all.  So Hope gives Abi her shoulder to cry on, no matter how much it hurts to hear her cry for another woman. It’s not like Sally was ever actually good enough for Abi anyway.

There’s probably been a respectable amount of time since the break-up for Hope to be doing this, she hadn’t originally planned on doing anything about her feeling for Abi at all until the idea had hit her. What would be the best way to win Abi Dingle’s heart? Buy her a dog. So that’s how Hope has ended up in a rescue centre looking for a dog for Abi. She looks at almost every single dog there, big and small, young and old before she finds what she’s looking for, the dog is a Cockapoo puppy according to the card by her cage, She’s was taken here after being found in a sack thrown in the canal. Hope wonders how anyone could do such a thing. She also knows that Abi would love her, the patron of unwanted things, she supposes that it’s because Abi knows what it is to be unwanted. All the same it’s the puppy that she ends up taking home with a carry case, food, and probably and unnecessary amount of toys.

She’s not at all surprised when Abi scoops the dog into her arms and instantly proclaims her undying love for the thing. It’s a nice sight to see her smiling down at the dog, and it’s an even better feeling to know that she’s the reason for it. Hope can never really get enough of Abi’s smiles because people never take the time to put them there. Her smiles seem to be a rare commodity and Hope will take every opportunity she can to see one.

“You’re dead dangerous aren’t you? Going to protect me, a proper killer you are” the way Abi speaks to the dog is as if she’s speaking to a child, this coupled with the way the puppy is licking at her face and neck diminish the meaning of her words. As she watches the smile stretch even further across Abi’s face she realises.

“No,” she blurts out “you are not naming that poor dog killer” all she gets in response is a faux-innocent smile.

“Anyway, I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime” She takes a breath to prepare for a rejection “as a date?”

“Yeah, I’d like that”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading. feel free to leave feedback or any prompts for what you'd like to see from this series


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